Scooby Doobie Do Where Are You?

Last Sunday I arrived in Cuenca, the city that I will be staying in for the next few weeks. Some more obversations...

You cannot put toliet paper in the toliet. Next to every toliet there is a trash can where you must put all the toliet paper otherwise you will clog the toliet. The sewage system isn't like the one in the United States and cannot handle things like toliet paper and whatever else Americans like to put in the trash. It smells less than you would think. Generally speaking at least. I don't think anyone has taken a super Jason yet.

I am putting Charles on the endangered species list. By choice, I am walking about two hours a day and I am eating less. Much less. In comparison I might walk 45 minutes at school every day. Now I walk from my host family's host to my school and then back for lunch. In the afternoon I return for lunch and then go back to the school for lesson planning. Each way is about 30 minutes. The other night I could barely finish my dinner. When is the last time I struggled to finish anything? These may be the final days for Charles (my stomach).

The only thing that is saving Charles are all the bakeries. There's some crazy statistic that says there is a bakery for every 14 people Cuenca. I believe it. Every day I go across the street from my school and get a piece of bread at least once or twice a day. It's $0.15 or less per piece. I love it.

Everything is all natural here. The fruit, the meat, everything. It either tastes so much better or it's one of those “grass is always greener” deals. Either way, at every meal I have had a different type of juice to drink. It's great. I stopped asking what things are and now I am either drinking it or eating it. This probably won't end well.

On my way back today I decided to start playing a game “Gringo o Cuencano.” The gringos stand out so much. Whether they're taking pictures or just speaking English, they stick out like a sore thumb.

If gringos stand out like a sore thumb, then I must stand out like a sore thumb on crack. In Cuenca, I am not a gringo but rather a chino. Some market lady cursed me out the other day. I don't know what she said, I didn't hear it, but me cago en la puta madre de ella. :D

I feel like I am one of the international students at OU. I travel in a pack with the other people in my group most of the time. We speak English only even though we all speak Spanish to some degree. We are probably loud as hell. We make, what we like to call, a “gringo train” when we walk home because we're all too cheap to get a taxi (It'd be less than $3) and too scared to walk alone at night.

My host brother has a VW van. Yes, one of the old ones, similar to the Mystery Machine. It's bad ass but it doesn't run at the moment. I hope he gets it fixed because I would love to ride in it.

I haven't had Cui, guinea pig, yet. We did go to a pen that had plenty of Guinea pigs though. I thought it was going to turn out like a trip to the lobster tank at a seafood restaurant. Or at least I wish it did.

They love to honk their horns here. I don't know why. They are so honk happy. They honk their horns while I'm walking on the street. They honk to tell people to move in traffic. They honk their horns because they're bored. They love to honk their goddamn horns.

Driving in the mountains is terrifying. The bus was just about as wide as the road. We were a foot away from the edge. There was a several hundred foot drop. We were about a moment away from death. People were driving behind us, going much faster than us, passing us on turns. People were coming at us on said turns, again faster than us. That may have been the closest to death that I have been to in awhile.

Cigs are $2.50 a pack or less. The most expensive are marlboro. Everything else is less than $2. The smokers here are in heaven. One girl is from Chicago, she pays $9 or $10. Be happy with Ohio prices.

I don't know my own langauge. The other day we had to teach the concept of some and any. My group spent an hour trying to explain the concept to ourselves. The only girl who knew the rules was the only non-native English speaker.

It's really nice not to have the Internet and be off the grid for awhile. I am not fiending nearly as much for the Internet as I thought I would. It's nice to be away from everything you know every once and awhile.

The coffee here is wonderful. It's about twice as strong as it is in the United States. I still drink it black. Even some of the locals think I am crazy to drink it black but I do it anyway. Here's a conversation I had with someone about it:

Amigo: It (the coffee) looks like oil.

Me: But where's the shrimp?

::dead silence::

I won't be making any more dead baby jokes any time soon.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antihumor

The Wave

Tonight was one of those nights that has a one in a million chance of happening, where the stars align just right, and the result is just magic. For the last three or four hours I have been sitting at a bar with 8 other people, 8 other lost souls, and the bartender discussing anything that came to mind. It started off with jokes in Spanish that lead to anything and everything that came to mind. What countries we liked, what countries we don't like, life at home, etc. Nothing was taboo and there was a bond created here that I hope won't be broken. I cannot do this justice in a post, I won't even try, but for a few hours we forgot about our all our inhibitions and were real with one another.

P.S.

Ecuador pictures are up. I have some videos that I have yet to upload, they're worth it I assure you, but for now that's going to have to do.

Reflections at Midnight...

I have nothing but a few randomly scattered thoughts so here we go:

1. The cars are mind boggling.
I have never seen so many Nissan Sentras, Chevy Aveos, Hyundai Accents, and VW Rabbits in the last three days. This is the land of subcompact cars. They're everywhere. A good number of these are taxis but the majority of them aren't. They're not all from the same era either. Quito has a blend of cars from the last 30 years. It's not uncommon to see an original Beetle driving next to a Honda CRV. It's great. I wish I could drive one. A beetle I mean.

And even if I had the chance I wouldn't be able to because every car down here is manual. I don't think I've seen a single automatic. Even our "tour" bus is a manual. Driving in America is easy mode as far as I'm concerned.

And many of the cars are rebadges. Rebadges are cars made by one company with the name of another. The Chevy Aveo is the best example for it's a Daewood. Examples:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chevy_luv
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chevrolet_Grand_Vitara
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chevy_aveo#Central_and_South_America

Oh yeah, they love Chevy too.

2. Remember Sacagawea dollar coins? No? You probably haven't seen one in the last 10 years, I know I haven't, because they're all here in Ecuador. They love them down here. I keep getting them. I don't know why but I'm not complaining. They're easier to carry than dollar bills but they're also easier to lose too. :(.

3. There must be a ton of Chinese here in Ecuador. I haven't seen them but I know that they're here. There was a giant poster on how to fill out the papers for customs in Spanish, English, and Chinese. There are more than a fair share of Chinese restaurants down here as well.

4. Burger King abroad does not taste any different. It's just smaller. I know, I should've gone elsewhere but I was in a mall and it was the cheapest thing I could find. Malls down here are the same as they are in the states. If the signs weren't in Spanish I would've thought I was still in Ohio.

5. If technology ceased to exist the rural areas would still exist. I was away from a computer for a day and I was fiending for Internet. These rural farmers have almost nothing but their farms and they live just fine. I envy them in many ways. Being unplugged is nice until you check your email. 20 unread emails is not fun.

6. The mountain roads are beautiful but they're absolutely terrifying. The roads have several hundred feet drops at places. My ears were popping on the way to Otavalo, due to the change in altitude. The view was spectacular but around these corners with the large drops people were passing us and we were passing slower trucks. Along the way you see crosses on the edge to mark where cars have fallen off. My gut was in knots as we were passing cars on these corners and this is a normal highway. I can't imagine what it's like to drive along "El Camino de la Muerte" or the Death Road. Google that. Or watch the Top Gear Bolivia episode. Or both.

7. I feel bad for the Indigenous People. On one hand they're still around and thriving unlike the Native Americans in the United States. They still have some of their land and a lot of the Spanish spoken here is blended with Kichwa, a dialect of Quechua. On one hand, we've seen several natives who are also completely self sufficient. They are still using the same techniques to make clothes and cook as they did hundreds of years ago. Then it hit me. After looking at all of the traditional cookware they tried to sell us the ponchos and blankets they just showed us how they made them. Such a beautiful culture that has been ruined by tourism. I went to an entire market that was just the natives selling these ponchos, scarves, and purses. I've been accosted on the street to buy these same things. I suppose this is better than casinos though.

8. No matter where I go all I hear is American music. I don't even know the names or the artists or the songs but they're all there. All the same pop music bullshit.

9. Death Metal is a fantastic complement to viewing all the scenery of the mountains and rural areas. I don't know why. It started off as an experiment, black metal is fun to listen to while it snows and it's stuck. I guess I'll try this out again tomorrow.

10. Quito doesn't feel like it's another country. The realization that I am in another country hit me when I was in Otavalo, another smaller city. This city might as well be Miami or any major city in California. Most of the TV channels are in English with Spanish subtitles. The music on the radio is American. I've seen more ads for places like McDonalds, Burger King, etc than anything else.

11. Coca Cola is huge down here. I've seen Pepsi twice but I've had Coke with just about every meal. It also tastes better down here. There's no high fructose corn syrup. It's like if Coke came out with Coca-Cola Throwback. It's all real sugar. It tastes less heavy and a three liter bottle is $1.70 USD. I was carrying around a bottle I bought yesterday like a baby.

12. The Americans are easy to spot. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's their clothes. Nobody wears shorts down here. Maybe it's because they're speaking English or broken Spanish. Mostly though, they're loud as hell. We were walking past a camera store and these two women came out screaming to their friends across the street, "IT WORKS IT WORKS!" So much for a low profile.

13. I can't upload any photos to facebook right now so you're going to have to wait. The scenery is great. I have about 80 pictures so far and maybe 10 minutes of video. You won't be disappointed, I promise.

14. This place isn't as scary people perceive it to be. Sure I could be robbed here but the same could happen in any other large city like New York or Chicago. Everyone told me to come back alive but again I could've died in a city like New York or Chicago. If you go to the "wrong" part of NYC they don't speak English either. Just be calm, walk with other people, and don't draw attention to yourself and you'll be fine.

I think that's all for now.

Also, cocks.

Rolling Lonliness

I am alone.

I awoke to the realization that I am in a foreign country, barely speak their language, and I don't know anyone. I had been awoken at 7 AM from the sun outside my window and wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep and maybe wake up in my bed at home and think this was all a nightmare.

I didn't.

I woke up at 9:30AM and hauled ass to the 7th floor to eat some breakfast. It was a free meal and I wasn't about to pass it up. Eggs, hashbrowns, sausage, bacon, and every type of fruit I could ever want, how could I pass on this? I was lost in the awe of the view of the city. Hundreds, no thousands, of little apartment like houses for as far as I could see to my left and to my right there was a fog covered mountain with more houses upon it sparsely dispersed. As I watched the streets below I saw plenty of cars and trucks passing by. This city sure loves its compact SUVs, Trucks, Chevy Aveos, and VW Beetles. The old ones. I saw four of them pass by the Hotel within 20 minutes. I can count how many VW Beetles I've seen in the last six months.

After I returned my room I became all sorts of depressed again and began to zone out. I couldn't shake the feeling that I had been abandoned by Mary, who I thought was a friend, but all of my female friends eventually leave me. I started to think back to my flight last night.

My flight from Ohio to Houston was nothing special. I now sympathize with BA Baracus. Flying can be terrifying. By happenstance I had met another lost soul on their way to Quito for studies. For four hours we just discussed everything: our complaints with the plane, school, our trips, our plans for after school, and anything that came to mind. It was a one in million chance that happened but she eased my fears for this trip and restored some confidence within myself.

I never got her name, I think it was Allison, there was no formal hello nor goodbye, and I don't have a picture. I think it's better this way. I can still see her walking away one last time. She'll never know how much she did for me or how much she means to me.

Goodbye Allison.

NOTES

You're not crazy, I changed the name of the blog from "Journey to End" to "Las Adventuras de el Gringo Loco. As much as I love Rancid and that song, it didn't fit. I think this one is more fitting and I am aware that it may not be grammatically correct. It sounds better though and Los Gringos Locos is one of the best tag teams ever. :P Just sayin'.

There's a lot more that happened today but I'll save that for another time.

Oh God...

Where do I begin?

I'm listening to Great Expectations for the 50th time in the last hour (<3 The '59 Sound) while I drink a beer and tell the Internet all about my fears for tomorrow. In the last week I've finished finals, said goodbye to people I hope to see again, moved out of Athens, said hello and goodbye to my high school friends in one sweep, and found out that my friends relationship's have crumbled.

I was going through my books, trying to find something to take me to Ecuador, and I stumbled upon Women by Charles Bukowski. It's my favorite of his. I opened it up and I read the line:

"I masturbated regularly, but the idea of having a relationship with a woman - even on nonsexual terms - was beyond my imagination."

It's 3 AM, I'm drinking in my parent's basement (I've only had one, relax), and one of the most comforting thing I can find is from a Bukowski novel. I am a melodramatic mess.

Welcome to my blog.

I make no promises that this will be funny or insightful. In fact, past this post, I don't make any promises that I will be making any more posts. I don't care if anybody reads this (please do) because I am doing this for myself. Fuck OEA (Ohio of Education Abroad). They rejected me to write blogs for them but it's ok I was going to do this anyway. Maybe I'll post what I wrote for them. Just remember, if this is terrible, you click the x in the upper right (or left if you're using OSX/Ubuntu) you can close this window and I no longer exist.

In 9 hours I am going to Ecuador.

Why am I going to Ecuador?

This is like saying "Captain Kirk is climbing a mountain, why is he climbing a mountain?" There's no logical answer besides "because he can." I've spent countless nights trying to figure this out and I don't have a reason other than because I have to. I find it amusing that for the last three years I have been studying Chinese and now I am going to a Spanish speaking country. After three years I realized that I don't like Chinese all that much. It doesn't sound nice to me. I should've stuck with Spanish. Sorry mom.

This post feels like it's all over. I know I've made several references to inside jokes and incidents that not everyone knows about. Do you ever watch the community? I feel like the character Abed. I make lots of references to TV, movies, games, and aspects of my life that not everybody gets. If there's anything that you don't get just Google it.

I suppose this post should be about Ecuador, or at least mention it a few times, and my feelings about the whole matter. I am terrified. There is nothing that I could've done to prepare myself for the trip that I have ahead of me. Everyone keeps telling me "Good luck" which is nice but I wish they would've stopped there. It's always followed by something like "please come back." Am I being naive or do we know nothing about South America?

Alright I better go to bed. Or go back to packing. I haven't quite finished packing yet and I have to be at the airport around 10:30. Yikes. I don't know when I'll get Internet again but hopefully the hotel tomorrow will have it. I will post my thoughts about the flight and there's some things I've been meaning to say but I haven't had the time to iron them out.