Oh God...

Where do I begin?

I'm listening to Great Expectations for the 50th time in the last hour (<3 The '59 Sound) while I drink a beer and tell the Internet all about my fears for tomorrow. In the last week I've finished finals, said goodbye to people I hope to see again, moved out of Athens, said hello and goodbye to my high school friends in one sweep, and found out that my friends relationship's have crumbled.

I was going through my books, trying to find something to take me to Ecuador, and I stumbled upon Women by Charles Bukowski. It's my favorite of his. I opened it up and I read the line:

"I masturbated regularly, but the idea of having a relationship with a woman - even on nonsexual terms - was beyond my imagination."

It's 3 AM, I'm drinking in my parent's basement (I've only had one, relax), and one of the most comforting thing I can find is from a Bukowski novel. I am a melodramatic mess.

Welcome to my blog.

I make no promises that this will be funny or insightful. In fact, past this post, I don't make any promises that I will be making any more posts. I don't care if anybody reads this (please do) because I am doing this for myself. Fuck OEA (Ohio of Education Abroad). They rejected me to write blogs for them but it's ok I was going to do this anyway. Maybe I'll post what I wrote for them. Just remember, if this is terrible, you click the x in the upper right (or left if you're using OSX/Ubuntu) you can close this window and I no longer exist.

In 9 hours I am going to Ecuador.

Why am I going to Ecuador?

This is like saying "Captain Kirk is climbing a mountain, why is he climbing a mountain?" There's no logical answer besides "because he can." I've spent countless nights trying to figure this out and I don't have a reason other than because I have to. I find it amusing that for the last three years I have been studying Chinese and now I am going to a Spanish speaking country. After three years I realized that I don't like Chinese all that much. It doesn't sound nice to me. I should've stuck with Spanish. Sorry mom.

This post feels like it's all over. I know I've made several references to inside jokes and incidents that not everyone knows about. Do you ever watch the community? I feel like the character Abed. I make lots of references to TV, movies, games, and aspects of my life that not everybody gets. If there's anything that you don't get just Google it.

I suppose this post should be about Ecuador, or at least mention it a few times, and my feelings about the whole matter. I am terrified. There is nothing that I could've done to prepare myself for the trip that I have ahead of me. Everyone keeps telling me "Good luck" which is nice but I wish they would've stopped there. It's always followed by something like "please come back." Am I being naive or do we know nothing about South America?

Alright I better go to bed. Or go back to packing. I haven't quite finished packing yet and I have to be at the airport around 10:30. Yikes. I don't know when I'll get Internet again but hopefully the hotel tomorrow will have it. I will post my thoughts about the flight and there's some things I've been meaning to say but I haven't had the time to iron them out.