Revisionist Lament
I saw the best minds of my class, driven crazy by the pressures of the AP Tests
Forced into a stressed-induced madness caused by the urgent need of Ivy
Where average was not an option and State wasn’t an option
And anything but out-of-state meant failure
I’m from the backwater farms of China
Where Mao persecuted the innocent and revolutionized the culture
Where the women bind their feet and the marriages are prearranaged
Where sneakers are made for a dollar and iPods for three
And if you squint on dreary summer night
You can still see the China my grandfather left behind
I’m from the mean streets of Hong Kong
Where so many fled
Where Bruce Lee changed the world
Where the British ruled and Canto reigned supreme
I’m from the city of Caracas
Where they missed out on the Great Leap Forward
Where Simon Bolivar is king and gas is 20 centavos
Where democracy means dictatorship and “blank page” is synonymous with “Constitution”
I’m from the United States
West Side born and raised
Where Chinese isn’t American
From where English only is unacceptable
Where working in a hole in the wall is better than jook-sing
Where I have a name that’s anything but jook-sing
I’m from my parents basement
Like a lot of other basements
Where Sega Genesis meant nothing
And Super Nintendo was everything
Where football was foreign
And baseball? More like basebore
I’m from the ring
Where Stunners were the end all be all
Where Cactus Jack was everything
And HHH was the king of kings
Where El Santo did no wrong
Where Brody did what he wanted when he wanted
And Eddie did it all for a hot dog and a coke
I’m from a Viola
Is it bigger than a Violin?
Or is it smaller than a Cello
The butt of every music joke
Good music, boring parts
Alto clef, what the $%^# is that?
So many hours practiced
So many hours wasted
Oh where did you go my friend?
Nearly always at my side
Now sitting under my bed
I’m from a summer camp
Like a lot of other summer camps
Seven strangers
Passion for music
They’ll never know what they mean to me
I’m from a bookstore
Just like many other bookstores
Salinger, Bukowski, Kerouac, Burroughs Hemmingway, Heller
Who needs a beer?
I’ve got Ham on Rye for my Naked Lunch
I know For Whom the Bell Tolls
It tolls for thee
I’m from the Internet
I’m never gonna give you up
Lou Lynx is a friend of mine
4chan is Something Awful
All Your Base Are Belong to Us
It’s so cold in here
From pirating everything
Because paying is for suckers
I’m from Streetlight Manifesto
Where Everything Went Numb Somewhere in the Between
From Bomb the Music Industry
Where everything is Scrambles
I’m from the Clash
Where London Calls
This is my Gaslight Anthem
Listen to my ’59 Sound
From Rancid
…And Out Come the Wolves
I’m from those damn Dogs
Who mark everything as their own
Who jump on the table and eat my eggs
Who won’t stop following you
Who don’t care if you come home
But never want you to leave
Who won’t leave you alone
But you can’t leave them alone either
From a lot of late nights
Sitting up writing code
Banging my head on my desk
Wondering why everything core dumps
And why I didn’t become a Business major
Or Linguistics or Spanish
Or almost anything but this
From a small Green town
Where the drink of choice is Natty Light
And Parties before Homework
Where Zeitgeist is truth
And recycling is anything but a waste
Where I am a stranger in a familiar land
BG, Toledo, Cincinnati
Why aren’t I there?
Why aren’t I anywhere but here?
From a department on campus
Where I babysit adults
Who can’t hold their liquor
For those who can’t drink elsewhere
From the rich white kids
Who can’t find anything better to do with $18k
Other than to party
Dealing with all of that
Just to hope
That I can at least be anything but
Just a Hall Monitor
I’m from a lot of lonely nights at the bar
Amongst all my friends
Right here in Cuenca
Where there is no way to describe myself
Other than “Alone in the Crowd”
I’m from a lot of boring nights
Spent driving around
Accompanied by Taco Bell and Slurpees
There was never any place to go
But there was always an urgent need to belong
From one pizza buffet to another
Maybe a Chinese buffet here and there
Always stuffing my face
Always going for just one more slice
Modesty
Not an option
I’m from those crazy relationships
Gabby, Rebecca, Maria
Mooses, Red Roses, Slurpees
So long ago
Yet still with me
I’m from a lot of hopeful nights
Where I sat around waiting
Hoping that they wouldn’t ditch me again tonight
Oh Janey
Where did we go wrong?
I’m from road trips
From Cleveland to the UP
And Cleveland to Boston
Three friends, one car, 11 hours
The quintessential American Road Trip
I’m from a small city in America
Like a lot of other cities in America
Where you can find me at Applebees on any given Friday
And Borders any given Saturday
Where I meet up with all my friends from what seem like previous lives
And I wonder
How did I get here?
I love it
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